Table Of Contents – A selection of Poems written by Pt. Jag B Mahadeo since 1990 – to date.

 Life Poems, Mind Poems: Exploring Life & Mind in Poetry.

This page of Poems written by myself is designed to uplift, inspire and encourage the poet within each of us and to possibly help to put smiles on faces. In this journey of life, each of us experience our own experiences in our own unique way and each of us play our thoughts to our own music.

May we all listen to the whispering poet and philosopher within ourselves and be motivated to find the time to set it free, and as we do, I pray that we discover our own joys & truths within. 

Many of these poems below are not my actual experiences, but were written after listening or counseling others, watching the life of friends or co-workers and reflecting their experiences …. in my attempt to put myself in their shoes.

Please see Select Articles by Pt. Jag B Mahadeo here:

Link to a list of books by Guruji Swami Veda Bharati:

Mid-Flight

When we are stuck in situations which leaves us feeling helpless.

*

When stuck at the eternal crossroads

And no sign of which way to go,

And any queries for help….from without,

Seems answered with a profound ‘NO’!

When Beauty and Purity is under siege,

….broken promises, and hearts of stone reign,

And waves of chaotic heart-wrenching crying

When pure, tender, loving minds cannot stay sane.

When the flower garland that adorns the neck

Has been cruelly torn and ripped to shreds.

And it appears that the soul has deserted

And left the physical body for dead!

When the innocent, pure-white, love-angel

Has brushed lips with the devil’s own,

And the place of red roses where doves flew

Now only thorns grow …. And deadly snakes roam.

If somehow crushed and left for dead,

Like the remains of rose petals underfoot.

The curtains of the eyes have been drawn shut

And life’s whole purpose seems misunderstood.

When it feels like the devil’s warped claws

Are painfully, deeply embedded in the flesh!

And the misfortunes befallen me is worthy,

For my past Karmas …. I haven’t been blessed.

Let my perilous dark cloud that hovers overhead

Be pierced by one sword-blade of pure light,

Thus freeing my soul from the netherworld

In which I’ve been trapped in mid-flight.

From ‘The Heart of The Sun’ – Written by Jag B Mahadeo

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My Purpose …. Please

My Purpose Please …. so many discussions, arguments, debates, thoughts, notions and teachings about exactly what, is our Purpose! This poem poses many of the different questions regarding our purpose while going through the different stages of life, through the eyes of an observer – ‘A Student of Life’ – As we all are!

~Written in 1997~

*

We are born “a bundle of joy”,

To our siblings, a baby toy.

To some, a “bundle of pain”,

Born sick, helpless and nothing to gain.

Why am I here?

“Growing up” we are told, is ….supposed to be fun,

But for many millions of kids, they have none.

Growing up to about ten years of age,

The book of life then turns another page.

Why is this?

From here on, try to meet all the standards set,

So many of these, will never be met.

Try to walk the straight line between good and bad,

For so many kids, it’s always so sad.

What is the reason?

At fifteen years of age, so confused, so unsure.

These questions keep coming up more and more.

Girls and drugs, liquor and abuse,

Sometimes I feel so confused, of no use.

Do I really even exist?

Struggle all the way through school,

Tried to make education a useful tool.

I am so very gullible at this age,

I found part-time work for below minimum wage.

Is this worth it?

Just like a bucket full of crabs,

Seem like everyone wants to grab.

To drag me down, it’s such a fight,

To keep doing what I think is right.

Is this fair?

Out of college now…..there four years,

Tried to have some fun while I was there.

I really tried very hard, I did my best,

Got mostly A’s in most of my tests.

Will this really help?

The struggle continues, buried in debt.

On not finding a good job, I never did bet.

Temptations draw me over the edge,

I cling desperately with, fingertips at the ledge.

Why do I live?

Finally settled down, became a family man,

All the ups and downs, I mostly won.

But just when I thought I figured life out,

My good health just started going south.

Is this life?

In my forty’s, very well I can’t see.

Why is my health going downhill on me?

Cannot do the things I used to do,

Can’t even hear your words ring true.

Is this it?

At fifty, I decide to face the fact,

Getting older kinda knocks you on your back.

It’s something that all of us have feared.

Now I put up with mental and bodily wear.

Where does this life lead to?

I cannot bend down, I cannot sleep,

Pain in me makes me want to weep.

I am so tired day to day,

I feel like I have lost my way.

Is life really worth it?

At sixty, I have arthritis in my bones,

I can no longer even touch my toes.

All my aching joints, they feel so tight,

I cannot understand my terrible plight.

Why is this happening to me?

At seventy, I am going blind,

I can’t even think with a straight mind.

My body aches, my hands shake,

Don’t know how much of this I can take.

Where am I going from here?

No Priest from any religion,

Ever really answered my questions

They all have given it a whack,

But it is a tough one to crack.

Do the answers even exist?

So many theories but no one could prove,

Why are we here? Why do we move?

Or are we a figment of the imagination,

Of some higher, more powerful creation.

Why am I here?

Of death I have now started to think,

I feel I am very close to the brink.

I often wonder, has it all been in vain?

What have I accomplished? What have I gained?

Or is this all a dream?

Finally, now that I am dead,

My body placed on its eternal bed.

All of my life, questions endless,

No real answers, Oh what a mess?

All of the struggle, all the strife,

What exactly was the purpose of my life?

From ‘The Heart of The Sun’ – Written by Jag B Mahadeo

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Of Roses and Thorns

Choices of roses and of thorns,

And of heaven and of hell

Desires of riches and wealth,

Knowing what to keep a secret

….and what to tell

 

Decisions of what to give and what to take,

And of this life …what to make

Choosing between an olive branch

and a lightning rod,

like choosing between the Devil….and God.

 

Surrendering to hate or to love

Wishing to freely fly…. Like a dove.

Weather to stop and listen to the loving heart,

Knowing the heartaches which that can start

 

Temptations of mental and physical lust

Questions of honesty and of trust

Tolerance of seething anger and of pain

Wishing for sunshine when there is rain

 

Control of tempting desires and greed,

And of lasting peace….to just plant that seed.

To stay afloat and swim….or slowly sink,

In the face of adversity’s wicked wink

 

Dreams of awesome castles in the air,

And nightmares that awaken us in fear.

Wishing for love-letters on paper of gold,

With love stories worthy to be told.

 

Acquaintances of whom to be proud

Who only our love would enshroud

What to dispense of and what to hold dear.

And over what, it’s worth to shed a tear.

 

Which fault to show and which to hide?

And which true friends to keep by my side.

At what time which mask should be worn.

These Choices of Roses and of Thorns.

 

From ‘The Heart of The Sun’ – Written by Jag B Mahadeo

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 Misery

When I have lost the spring in my step,

And by my own strength, my basic needs cannot be met.

When a smile is no longer on my face,

When I cannot move, bedridden, and in one place.

 

When to those I love pain and sorrow is all I bring,

and about the misery in their lives …..I can do nothing.

When I cannot speak that which I ache to say

and my loved ones cannot bear to see me like this everyday.

 

When my body-sick, useless and ravaged by time

and my senses have no control, like they are no longer mine.

I hope and I pray, and please, don’t ask me why.

Pull the plug….. Release me and just let me die.

 

Jag B Mahadeo (Taken from the book ‘The Heart of The Sun’)

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Say ‘Namaste’

Written by Jag B Mahadeo – As explained by Pandit Budhram Mahadeo

In a calm voice I say …. ‘Namaste’

Bowing with palms together pressed

Fingers held relaxed, pointing upwards

And closely drawn up against the chest

 

‘With all the power in my hands

And all the intelligence in my head

With all the love in my heart

I pay respects to you’ …. This one word said.

 

‘Namaste’

A gesture of respect and kindness

To honor that great Divinity within

To know the extended family of God

To ignore any judgment, blessing, or sin

 

Gurus greet their disciples with ‘Namaste’

And say ‘Namaste’ upon bidding farewell

It reflects the deeper being, the soul within

Of inner Beauty, Love and Humility, it tell

 

Parents say ‘Namaste’ to their children

In temples all say ‘Namaste’ to each other

It speaks of seeing the Godliness within all

Even child say ‘Namaste’ to Mother and Father

 

The act of ‘Namaste’ always reminds us

that God is in every being we meet

That God resides within each of his children

In their existence, he keeps his loving seat

 

Hold ‘Namaste’ in your heart with high esteem!

Do ‘Namaste’ to your fellow souls with pride!

Say ‘Namaste’ and change the world with Love!

Live ‘Namaste’ and share God’s Love far and wide.

 

By Jag B Mahadeo

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Om Shanti – Peace

This poem was written for a dear sister & friend many years ago with much love & friendship. My friend, may you always find that elusive peace in all its guises!

*

Om Shanti!

Peace.

Peace of mind.

Peace of heart.

Peace of being …. of breath.

Peace of body and of soul.

Peace be.

Tortured memories of ages past,

of childhood days …. of dreams held fast.

Some no longer to be cast aside

No innocent ones from which I’d hide.

A life in which we are sometimes torn

between the cheery, the dismal and the forlorn.

And the battle to engage the cruel and unkind,

yet to maintain my precious peace of mind.

To face and conquer my fears standing upright.

To bow my head under no one else’s might.

To cast aside all my numerous doubts

and to have only peace-thoughts flow from my mouth.

Om Shanti.

God’s Peace.

Not Remorse or Fear.

Not Ego’s dance or Anger’s fetid breath.

But light of knowledge and peace.

Om Shanti!

Thy name’s essence.

Peace!

Not Anger or Sorrow, but

Peace.

Peace be.

By Jag B Mahadeo

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The Hell of Living in Fear

 

I live in constant fear of thieves in my head

And set the alarm every night before bed

I live in fear of the rays of the sharp sun

Stay indoors or from sunlight I must run

 

I live in fear of birds and insects and bees

Self-imprisoned cause of pollen from the trees

Living in fear of terrible sickness and ill-health

And worry constantly of losing my precious wealth

 

Find myself hiding from even the threat of rains

And the fear of sickness and aches and pains

Living in fear of the soft warmth from the sun

Scared that my skin would get dark and brown

 

Living in fear of the brisk wind and mild breeze

And in the winter, of water puddles that freeze

I live in constant fear of near and imminent death

In every act and every experience I see a threat

 

I live in fear of the almighty God and of hell

And on these fears my mind forever dwell

What kind of life is it …. To live this way?

What life do I enjoy living in fear each day?

 

(A poem about those who live in fear) By Jag B Mahadeo

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Why, Oh Why!

A dear mother cries to me over the phone on the death of her older daughter – relayed in my words.

*

She cried, where is God when he is in need?

Why his children, he does not heed?

My heart is broken as I cradle my child’s head!

Why could it not have been me, in her stead?

Life is so cruel she sobbed and arms uplifted, cry

Why, Oh why, so young did she have to die?

Jag B Mahadeo

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The Heart of the Sun (God’s Presence)

Taken from the book ‘The Heart of THe Sun’

*

I burst from the blazing heart of the Sun

As a burst of energy to the surface.

Now as beam of light, left on a long journey

To the far reaches of outer space.

After millions of miles at an incredible speed

Through the Earth’s atmosphere, encountered a tree.

I was absorbed into its body and became a tender flower

Of such tender beauty, that I attracted a little bee.

It buzzed and danced on my fragrant petals

Then all my sweet nectar it slurped in glee.

And left it’s tiny, dusty, footprints spread all over

That started some awesome, bizarre changes in me.

My tender petals dried, shriveled and dropped off

And from my stem I grew big and round.

I turned red, juicy soft, and sugary sweet

Then the rain and winds knocked me to the ground.

The soothing rains stopped and after a while

A pretty little girl came wandering by.

Saw me red and plump and scooped me up

So very happy she almost started to cry.

She wiped me off with soft little hands

And sat against the trunk of my parent tree.

Smiling, she eyed me over one last time

Then proceeded to eat me delightfully.

Now I became a part of her little body

In her blood, I coursed through her veins.

Then I took up residence inside her head

As a part of her amazing, active little brain.

Now I am a spark of energy in her life

So far from where my journey had begun.

Here on Earth, as the Light in a Little Girl’s eyes

I am still a piece of The Heart of the Sun.

Jag B Mahadeo

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The Family of God (Children Of God)

I woke up in the middle of the night

Floating words voicing messages in my head

Motionless I stayed, and quietly listened

Slowly, clearly, this is what the voices said!

 

We are all children of the same one God

Almost alike and just a little bit different

All sisters and brothers, each of us are

This truth on Mother Earth, wherever I went

 

Built of the same divine building blocks

The rich, the poor, the old, and the young

In Mandirs, Temples, Mosques, and Churches

Where bhajans, prayers and hymns are sung

 

Built of goodness of God …. we all are!

That amongst us not one of us is bad

Some are just people with some bad habits

Living separate lives with experiences so sad!

 

In God’s eyes, ‘Bad People’ do not exist

For only people with bad habits do

Since we are all Gods’ loving children

In this thinking, there’s really nothing new

 

We are all perfect and are all pure souls

Born of the all-perfect and all-pure father

Thrust onto this home of Mother Earth

To help and to learn from one and other

 

We are all perfect in God’s glorious eyes

And we are not born in and of sin

Thinking this way, we lose before we start

And over life’s challenges, we cannot win

 

Other people are not being difficult

They are just a little bit different

We live separate lives here on earth

But by the same Father we were all sent

 

We are to Love as our God does

Selfless, patient, compassionate and kind

Only then can we fulfill our purpose

And find our own individual peace of mind.

 

I’ve chosen two goals for me in this life

That these I achieve, Dear God I pray

For your strength, direction and blessings

Through each one of these challenges, everyday

 

First that I control and conquer my ego and

Become the embodiment of humility and grace

And second that I learn to show love as You do

To all creatures and my family, The Human Race.

 

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Under the Tamarind Tree (Sorrow)

Little Boy sobbing and slowly digging.

Three feet deep, three feet long.

Two feet wide.

One long-handled shovel,

gripped in calloused little old-looking hands.

Sweating and clawing at the unforgiving, damp clay.

Digging.

Pushing.

Digging.

Fighting back the flow of tears

dripping from red, swollen, cry-weary eyes.

Pants tattered and muddy.

Bony knees skinned and bleeding.

Wrapping the body of his beautiful

brown friend in his favorite burlap sack

He gives it one last aching hug

and pulls the cold, stiff carcass down.

Thud!

His little heart fell into the hole with it.

Tenderly raking loose earth over the dreaded hole,

…. earth with tear-soaked brownish-gray spots.

He covers it gently even in death.

His poor dog Rio …. his best friend.

Now dead.

And buried under the Tamarind tree.

Feeling so very lonely

Little Boy alone

And heartbroken

He hugs his mother in tears.

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The Beast in Me (Evil)

Reflections of that which exists within that seems to take control at times and make us do self-destructive things onto others – Written in 1996.

*

In the deep recesses of my being,

There is a monstrous beast within me.

Hidden and disguised so very well,

Hard for anyone else outside to see

Locked up and tucked away,

In one of my mind’s many cages

He cannot control my body,

Even in his constant manic rages.

He constantly begs for my attention,

He pleads “let me out please”.

Even though he is my life’s companion,

Him, I will do nothing to appease.

I will tell you of my terrible beast,

And the things he is capable of.

He is so much like my own twin,

But he is incapable of showing love.

He is the selfish bigot in me.

He is the one who constantly lusts.

He is the braggart and the showoff.

He cares not about righteous or just.

He is selfish, and he is downright mean,

And he listens when the devil beckons.

This is why I am on guard against him

Every day and every single second

You see, he is the one who gets angry,

So furious sometimes, he can kill.

I cannot give him any bit of control,

Or he will cause great havoc at his will.

He makes me scream, yell and curse,

He gets so violent, rant and rave.

If I listen to him, I don’t belong here,

I should be living in a faraway cave.

Constant thinking, he always does,

For he never ever goes to sleep

Make me do mean things to those I love,

The things that make them hurt and weep.

This is why he is always locked up,

And bound with chains oh-so-strong

So he never ever escapes or breaks out,

To take control and do his wrongs

Even though I keep him securely under wraps,

I’ve tried… but never could silence him.

I will stay in the saddle and keep the reins tight,

So he can never satisfy his whim.

So, I have my terrible beast in me,

But his biddings, he never ever gets to do.

Don’t you even think of mocking me

For you have your beast in you too.

From ‘The Heart of The Sun’ – by Jag B Mahadeo

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At Speed of Thought (Death)

  After the death of a close family in-law – Written in 2013.

Play-pal, husband, father and friend

Soul-mate, support, teacher and son

Sharing life’s stories, troubles and pains

And in all life’s offerings of immense fun

Following and dancing through …. In lock-step

Hand in hand together on life’s journey

Sharing in every day’s laughter and sorrow

And helping each other when in doubt, to see

Then this close and loving part of my being,

Was so cruelly ripped and torn away

Powerless and helpless was how I felt

But it changed with nothing I had to say

It frayed my dying spirits and bent my will

Beat on my strength and tested my resolve

This age-old dilemma of all humankind

Which many explain but none can solve

Some said ‘You have to seek closure’

Others advised that ‘you have to be strong’

But how do you really separate yourself

From one who was a part of you, for so long?

I thought long and thought hard of my dilemma

I searched my mind and then firmly decide

I cannot sit back, cannot mourn and cannot cry

Life’s challenges go on …. from this I cannot hide

I will use my God given power and my intellect

I will keep learning and continue to grow strong

I will continue to do my duty and God’s work

And immerse myself in my prayer and with song

My dear one may be physically not present here

This will not change, even if with God I fought

But I can see and can talk with him at my will

For he is always available at the Speed of Thought.

(This was written for a sister at the time of her husband’s passing in my feeble attempt to console her)

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To be The Master (Life)

 

I yearn to be the Master

To identify and to discover

To understand my true self

 

I seek to be the Master

Not of anger or of jealousy

But the Master of my own mind

 

I yearn to be the Master

Not of greed or of gossip

But the Master of my own ego

 

I seek to be the Master

Not of sadness or of self-rejection

But of inner peace and acceptance

 

I yearn to be the Master

Not of ignorance or of pain

But of knowledge and Pure Bliss

 

I seek to be the Master

Not of selfishness or of arrogance

But of patience and kindness

 

I shall be the Master

To perfect tenderness and humility

And my hungry ego, not to feed!

 

I shall be the Master

Not of hateful thoughts or of dislike

But of God’s Pure Universal Love

 

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Little Boy Knee Deep In Mud (Memories)

 

Bare-footed Little Boy, knee-deep…..in mud he dread

Dirty straw hat perched jauntily a-top his head.

Following his loving mother’s every step and move

And skipping in and out of tractor-tire-made grooves

 

On sun-baked spots of earth, his naked-bottomed feet burns

While nimbly jumping over sticks and prickly thorns.

Little Boy walked four long miles to the farm,

In his mind, to protect dear Mother from harm.

 

Scared of the creatures crawling on the ground

Mean birds, bees, and angry wasps flying around.

Leeches in the stinking mud, crawling up his bare legs

Sucking blood and looking like small, long, black eggs.

 

Little Boy and Mother in wind-blown rain,

Walking, covered in clear plastic…..but in vain.

They are both dripping wet and soaked to the skin,

But they dried up hours later when the sun win.

 

In the blazing sun, keeping his mother company,

His tired, squinting eyes can barely see.

Little Boy helped out with whatever he could

 Or was busy making boats out of moko-moko wood.

 

Little Boy in old, dirty, mud-caked clothes,

Soft dark-gray mud squishing up between his toes

Bruises from falls and bumps from insect stings.

Tossing stones in the water….. making ripple-rings.

 

Right before sunset, home they went.

Totally exhausted….all their energy spent.

Little Boy scrubbed, showered and now clean,

Sleeping in his straw filled bed, the little boy dream,

 

Of the farm and the bugs, and the flowers and buds,

And of the Little Boy trudging knee-deep in mud

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Holbrook’s Dawn (Life)

The blackness of the silent, dark dreary night

Succumbed to the dawn’s early morning light

And Holbrook’s creatures slowly began to stir

Shake out their closed wings and crumpled fur

My senses soaked in the pleasant morning’s dew

As the sky’s hew changed from grey to bright blue

The flowers brilliant colors were boldly displayed

So upright, proud and still as if they deeply prayed

Slowly the still and silent air now filled with songs

Sweet squeaks, and whistling mixed in with calls

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Mother Earth’s Song of Tears (Nature)

Of all the planets around our glorious star, the Sun

The one we call home, abundant with life giving waters

This blue orb we will leave behind when are done

Into the futures hands of our sons and our daughters

 

Of exquisite beauty, life-full, kind and nurturing

Her life-force, our loving, beautiful Mother Earth

Giving her all, her life breath and endearing self

With abundant water and rich, food-growing dirt

 

Fresh water streams and wide, land parting rivers

Splendid rolling hills and teasing white-tipped mountains

Fresh life giving oxygen, and protective umbrella of ozone

And gift of water recycling clouds with life-seeding rains

 

Blue oceans teeming with countless myriads of life forms

Island paradises at our whim for the making

Home of happiness, peace and hand-holding love

Selflessly given, and all ours for the taking

 

Flying the skies and sailing her deep blue oceans

Playing in the water and enjoying her beautiful beaches

Digging in her rich soil and using all of her bounties

Exploring her tall, deep forests and rivers far reaches

 

But what do we do to this great home of ours?

How do respond to her giving and her kindness?

In what condition are we leaving her for our children?

And our future grandchildren, how exactly do we bless?

 

With chemicals we kill her trees and poison her precious soil

We slaughter the whales senseless till the waters run red

And to satisfy our hunger, ego and intense greed for wealth

We rob, maim and kill our very own sisters and brothers dead

 

The volume of black gold sucked out of her giving bosom

Then spilled in her pure oceans and on her golden sands

Forever-lasting man made refuse, plastic and styrofoam

Spread, contaminate and forming mountains in all the lands

 

Now she seems down, defeated and out of breath

Our Mother Earth who we have, for so long forsaken

What can we do differently? How can the human family help?

How can we make up for all the abuse she has taken?

 

Can we pause for a moment and start using our intellect

And control our quest for wealth and getting richer?

When we create our own artificial flowers and beauty

While steadily ruining our Mother Earth’s pretty picture?

 

Mother Earth is our home …. And one of a kind

When we damage and destroy, no where else to go

To protect, preserve and care, we should all say YES!

To contaminate, neglect and abuse, hold a steadfast NO!

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The Ultimate Truth (Oneness)

 

The Ultimate Truth is …. OM

The Ultimate Truth is Peace & Love

The Ultimate Truth is that Absolute

That loving Father who we’re a part of!

 

The Absolute Truth is The Lord

The very life-force within you and within me!

He is the Moon, the Sun and the Stars

He is even the light by which we all can see!

 

He is the loving Mother and the Father

Who reveals the grand universe to all being

He is the one and eternal salvation

He is the ever-present and the all-seeing

 

He is in the coveted Heaven and the Hell

He is all the oceans of the earth

He is in the infinite ‘I’ in the ‘I AM”

And he is even the baby’s cry at birth

 

He is the space and endless flowing time

He is all sounds and the bell’s vibrant ring

He is the summer’s heat and fall’s splendid colors

He is winter’s cold beauty and our glorious spring.

 

The ultimate truth says ‘I am that I am’

He is the truth by any other name

He is the truth that is the one absolute

That all the Gods are the one and same

 

He is the beginning and end of the circle

He is what the whole circle is made of

He is the very essence of the universe

And all that makes up Forgiveness and Love

 

The Ultimate Truth is That Absolute

Throughout the universe …. the entire whole

The Absolute truth is in name ….  God

This we all know deep in our soul!

 

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To Be Humble – (Ego)

Our Egos it has been discovered

Is the biggest challenge in our lives

To conquer this Master Ego of ours

For this spiritual goal we shall strive

 

Not to demand and run to occupy every pulpit

To this we shall not give in, and will not do

Not to give our mighty opinion at every chance

Not me to look tall …. by chopping down you

 

Not to endlessly sing our own selfish praises

To the world and every single listening ear

Not to loudly boast of how much we know

Not to have others look at us in stricken fear

 

Not to follow the yearning to polish my pride

Not to feed my hungry Ego and watch it grow

Not to criticize everyone else’s every action

Not to dent their fragile Ego with all that I know

 

To be humble while I practice self-restraint

To display simple pride yet exhibit no greed

To meditate, improve and guide our thoughts

To share Selfless love and help others in need

 

To raise our growing humility to new heights

To control, conquer, and destroy the Ego

To raise our level of thinking and spirituality

To anything else but this goal, to just say no!

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Ashes Sown To The Wind (Separation)

Dead!

Ashes sown to the wind!

Only fleeting memories in moments of discord.

All the painful compulsions buried,

with all the weight of guilt they carried.

 

You; Thief of endless nights of sleep.

Conquering invader of my thoughts.

You; cruel, mocking jackal.

Laughing at the mind battles we fought.

 

Like a snake slithering into my dreams,

erasing even hints of a smile.

And disguising your heartless, gruesome self

as my angel savior once in a while.

 

And through hidden fangs that tasted of honey

poisoned my mind …. an effort to rule.

My warped perspective, your mind-bending charm,

and into your trap I fell …. a complete fool.

 

Then your familiar embrace threatened my soul

crushing my sanity, leaving me self-less.

Of your compulsion I could not resist.

That you almost won, I must confess.

 

Then one day I searched in my mind.

And in the confusion, could not find the real ME.

Among my thoughts, dreams, disguises and beliefs,

it was only your influence, infestation and poison I see.

 

So I took a chance on an oath that day

that you I will destroy, you I will kill.

Return my mind’s real-estate to me,

and in it’s throne re-establish my own self-will.

 

So each of my thoughts I carefully unwrapped

and threw your glittering poison-wrappings away.

Wiped my worthy thoughts clean and kept you out,

and with that, you I began to slay.

 

Carefully I nurtured my golden-garden mind,

and enjoyed my new found freedom to think.

Felt revived, in control, a pleasure it is,

to no longer breathe in your poison-stink.

 

Now you’re dead, ashes sown to the wind.

Fleeting memories no longer pass by.

No more poison, anxiety, and no more pain.

Not since that day when I watched you die.

Go to the Top

Existing (Oneness)

Existing.

Fascinated by the fragility

of this bubble in which all dwell.

Insecure.

exposed.

Enthralled by the result

of seemingly haphazard,

but carefully laid scheme of nature.

Delicate.

Beautiful.

Potent.

Mesmerized by cruel emotional

avalanches of sometimes mindless,

unnecessary, unwelcomed stages of life.

Spawning misery.

Sorrow.

Unrelenting.

Miscomprehending the

concept of time and age.

Of death.

Soul, or soul-less reality?

Incessant questions.

Answers non-existent.

Or unknown?

Helplessly torn by lustful cravings.

Seconds worth of superficial pleasures.

Hopeless degradation.

Drunk.

Zoned out.

Stoned.

Yet, envigored by romance.

Support from pillars of love.

Love!

The fountain of youth.

Indescribable.

Intimidated by the strange

but obvious forces steadily at work.

Dynamic.

Intense.

Genuine.

Questions….still unanswered.

Forever?

  Go to the Top

Body to Mind (Existence)

There are countless times in our lives when even though our bodies may be healthy; our mind is in such confused, muddled state. At these times it seems like we cannot control our mind and get it to concentrate properly.

The following is written as if the body is talking to the mind about this confused state, just as a servant talking to a master.

It is titled ‘Body to Mind’.

*

My dear Mind, why do you fail me like this?

Why do you let Emotions rule you?

Why do you not listen to your conscience?

And keep only what is good to keep?

My Mind, why do you choose to do those things,

Which are harmful to me, your body?

Why do neglect me in times of dire need?

Why do you entertain unhealthy thoughts

Which does nothing but cause misery for you.

And tremendous pain for me?

My Mind, why do you wander about sometimes?

Like a little child, picking up

so many little things of no use to you or me?

You keep them all tucked away inside

to add to the confusion in you

when we already face so much turmoil around us.

My Mind, why do you often entangle yourself

in that web of deceit?

lies, corruption, and impulsive behavior?

I expect you, my Mind,

to control those impulsive thoughts

but you do not help me.

Without controlling these impulses,

you have made me, your body fall prey to addictions,

which only cause me immense pain

and make me deteriorate faster than my age.

My Mind, you have not yet distinguished

between hunger and appetite.

You make me satisfy the craving for drugs,

alcohol and foods that are bad for me

which instead of nourishing me, punishes me.

My Mind, you do not guide me, Instead,

to satisfy simple hunger with healthy foods,

you make me “live to eat instead of eating to live”.

Do you not think of me Mind?

My health relies so much on you

but you choose to ignore me.

You choose not to give me sound sleep and rest.

My Mind, you insist on interrupting my rest

with your constant juggling of useless thoughts

and terrible fantasies.

Your ceaseless wandering make me gnash my teeth

and toss and turn in my sleep.

I am physical, Mind. I need rest.

My Mind, you think on and on of other people,

most of whom will not help in making us happy.

You are so unruly, my dear Mind.

You are caught up in your own little fantasies,

your own little world.

You refuse to consider those of us

who depend on you.

Are you not the one who should be in control, Mind?

I wait for permission from you,

from you my Mind,

before attempting to do any action.

You are the one I wait on

to make decisions for me.

I do nothing without you.

I AM nothing but an empty shell

without you, My Mind.

But you disappoint me so.

Why?

My Mind, so many times you have instructed me

to do things which after doing,

left me filled with nothing but pain.

My Mind, many times you have instructed me to do things

that have hurt our loved ones.

Why do you give yourself permission

to entertain bad and unreasonable thoughts

and make me, your body, suffer like this?

You make yourself like an open room, Mind.

You leave all your doors

and all your windows open and let

any strange thoughts wander in,

then you welcome them,

hold them close

and make them your guests.

My Mind, you can never sit in a moment of silence

to contemplate the things that would make you

and in turn, me better.

When you try to concentrate,

all your guests get in your way.

You are never alone.

You can never enjoy silence

with the atmosphere

you have created in your room, Mind.

My Mind, you choose not to protect

that which you are supposed to hold sacred.

You let others change you

in whatever way they want.

They mold you like play putty.

You take in whatever garbage

that others give you, Mind.

You harbor gossip and idle talk.

You meddle in the affairs of others

without solving your own problems first.

You have not lived up

to your true potential, Mind,

but yet, you try your best to impress others

with the little that you know.

At times you have made me act

because of Ego, Mind.

You keep polishing this Ego, this false pride.

Mind, Sometimes you have made him

look like the master and

we all have had to suffer the indignation,

the hurt and the scars

with which Ego leaves us.

You should know better

than to let Ego override our simple pride.

Now, consider me.

Think of me, Mind.

I may only be your Body,

but I am the medium

that makes you visible to the world.

I am the one that acts on your behalf

and the one that make the sounds that form speech.

All of these with your permission of course!

The speech from my lips is composed

of the thoughts that you, my Mind, send forth.

Therefore, others will judge you

Through me, your body

They will judge me by my actions,

the pride with which I carry myself,

and the EGO messages you send.

They will judge by the words that I choose

and the tone of voice that I use,

and through my words and actions,

you,….my Mind….will be judged.

Think of THAT My Dear Mind.

Go to the Top

Fountain of life (Life)

 

Drink deep from the Fountain of Life,

and value every single drop.

You never know when this running stream,

will come to a sudden stop.

 

Enjoy every moment,

let not a minute, go to waste,

much to do, much to enjoy,

So you’d better make haste.

 

Know exactly what you want.

And establish yourself a goal.

Cause before you know it

you will be old.

 

Take a step back

every once in awhile,

and look at yourself

through someone else’s eyes.

 

And listen to your voice

make it pleasant to your own ears.

cause in that tone of voice,

the responses you will hear.

 

Let your own intuition,

be your closest ally,

After all it rarely….

if ever lies.

 

And never ever give your opinion,

unless it is requested.

You won’t make friends this way,

no one, likes to be bested.

 

Try to never lie

at least not to those you love,

the time it takes to mend a broken heart,

the fountain, does not have time enough.

 

And show others

the same degree of respect,

that when dealing with them

you….will come to expect.

 

Learn from the mistakes of others,

and from those that you will make.

Or life will be like a chaotic ocean,

instead of the calmness of a lake.

 

Keep your shoulders straight,

and hold your head up high.

Show pride in your every step,

and you will see the reasons why.

 

Remember, life just keeps going,

and time is not, your friend.

The fountain of life is flowing,

but soon it will come to an end.

 

So drink deep of the fountain,

and try to find happiness.

Measure your successes wisely,

and always try to be your best.

 

Go to the Top

Rivers Of Blood (Cruelty)

 

The rivers of blood the innocents have shed.

The incessant misery to which they seem wed.

The carnage wreaked at the hands of those who wield power.

Backs against the wall, in terror the poor and weak cower.

 

Trembling, hiding in fear, and constant pain.

In punishing cold, snow, and freezing rain.

Smoke, smell of gunpowder, and of death.

Any second could be one’s last breath.

 

Burrowing into the ground, like animals they live.

Starving children dying, nothing for fathers and mothers to give.

When will this mindless horror cease?

When will this terrible calamity end?

 

Why to the unfortunate innocents….

This terror….did God send?

 

Go to the Top

Life…What Is It (Life)

(Share a laugh with me)

If life was a game, I would ensure I come out on top.

If it was a battle I would try my best to win.

Was life an examination? I would study very hard.

If it was a glass with drink, mine would be filled to the brim.

If life was a worthy book, I would read it to the last page.

Was it great music, to mine everyone would dance.

If life was the hands of a clock, I would slow it down,

And if it was a gamble, I would take every single chance.

If life was a painting, my hands would be as steady as a rock.

Was it someone else’s dream, I would make sure it’s not a nightmare.

If life was a table of food mine would be gourmet.

And if it was a horror movie, everyone…..I would scare.

If life was a prayer, I would make myself a saint.

If it was a spaceship, I would take mine to the most distant star.

If life was the wind I would be gentle and soothing

If it was a beam of light mine would pierce the darkness, way afar.

But if life was all Love and Romance,

I would be the world’s biggest Romeo.

Go to the Top

Religion! God’s Way (Belief)

 

Of all God’s creations in this world,

I could never understand,

Why so much dislike and distrust,

Between the religions in all the land.

 

The teachings of all the religions,

Is supposed to be for the good of man.

But sometimes it seems that none of this,

ever go according to the divine plan.

 

Of his many names not one is wrong

Over this in God’s name, they kill

Can’t we accept, He is but one?

And killing is against the one God’s will?

 

God never needs His many Names

to be defended by you or me.

He is much more powerful than that,

Can’t we open our eyes and see?

 

People, entombed alive, and killed,

to try and force them to convert.

Is that what their religion taught them?

That in God’s name, it’s okay to kill and hurt.

 

Who said that to convert Religion?

from one to the other is the best.

Do you always drive the same road to town?

When you approach from the east or west?

 

Why do we fail to understand?

All religions are but a different road,

To that one place we all vie for,

The one and only heavenly abode.

 

To kill in the name of God,

Is it not rather wrong and unfair?

Destroying something which belongs

 to one you say you love and hold dear.

 

And the belief of some people,

after killing, to add injury to insult.

they go in their church to pray,

never realizing what their prayers are worth.

 

Even in this modern day and age,

wars we are fighting, wars we will start.

To think our religion is better than others

Cause entire countries to be torn apart.

 

Do we have to follow religion?

Is which God do we believe?

Why are we given a choice anyway?

When by nature’s simple rules, we could all live.

 

When will we all truly realize?

When will all of us finally awake?

To think that God is partial to any Religion,

is such a terribly big mistake.

 

When will ordinary people wake up?

When will we all see the light?

God never wanted us to be religious fanatics,

God never wanted any of us to fight.

 

Go to the Top

The Dark Side of Me (Evil)

 

I feel like the dark devil is riding me,

So blinded with rage and fury I cannot see.

Cannot be intimidated I have no fear.

To choose right or wrong I do not care.

 

Every single day with every breath

face to face I spit in the eye of death.

The raging monster in me wants to kill

don’t care who it is, be dead by my will.

 

I have to hurt, punish and maim,

sorrow, tears and blood, it shall rain.

Let love go to hell, all I want is hate

Hell’s my playground, with the devil I have a date.

 

Frustrations in me builds, deep and high,

desire to crush and destroy, no reasons why.

I care not who suffers, friend or foe.

I do not give a damned I don’t want to know.

 

I’ll laugh in your face and watch you die

stomp on your grave with fire in my eye.

So when you’re ready step into my realm

You will pay either way and forever be damned.

 

Go to the Top

Waywardly Meandering (Mind)

 

Intensely loud, ceaseless-silent rumble

Across wide open boundless space

Immeasurable and effortless energy

Rolling through….unique, shapeless grace.

 

Waywardly meandering unexplored,

Uncharted, depth-less….yet familiar caverns.

Immense forward momentum through

All unbreakable barriers under the sun.

 

Pierced through and through by formless

Tethering tentacles of life-forms.

Repository for nefarious residues of

Inanimate, animate, moribund and dead.

 

The nucleus of perpetual motion-

Time almost unknown, non-existent,

Thundering through tenebrous hellish canyons

Into luminously-brilliant heavenly expanses.

 

Roaring silently-inaudible murmurs into

Undiscovered rooms of tranquility and solitude

….then into loud incessant hubbub

-sea of unrestrained pandemonium.

 

Quaking, pulsating-uncontrollable,

unpredictable….physically lusting

angrily endeavoring to encompass

all within and even beyond reach.

 

Continuously flowing eternal power

Never-ceasing….non-ending

Ravenously absorbing, swallowing all exposed

With putrid stench and sweet fragrances.

 

Concealing immense troves of treasure

Never and forever un-revealed

Unrealized efficient solutions

Amid on-going extremes of tortuous confusion.

 

Never harnessed, near impossible to control

Unfathomable extreme contrast in characters

Unavoidable….yet elusive, unequaled potency

Never-ending, forever,

uncontrollably flowing……MY MIND.

Go to the Top

Dew Drops (Nature)

 

Did you ever wake up just before dawn,

to admire the beauty of the beaming sunrise?

To gaze at that glowing orb, low on the horizon,

With it’s blazing light-shafts and awesome size?

 

Instead of cursing the birds outside your window,

Did you ever make the effort and go out?

To share in their part of nature’s splendor,

And hear melodious singing from beaked mouths?

 

Have you ever taken the time to appreciate

the morning frenzy of the little bees?

Or observed the array of colorful birds

feeding their young, in and among the trees?

 

Have you ever left your damp foot-prints

trailing in the green, dew-covered grass?

Or kissed a few cool dewdrops off a leaf

As you slowly, tenderly brush past?

 

Have you ever gone outside in the light rain

in a quiet, peaceful and lonely place?

And looked up to the heavens just to

feel the refreshing drizzle on your face?

 

Have you ever gazed up in wonderment and awe

At the cotton-ball clouds way up high?

And wonder, what exactly is way beyond

all that wide expanse of deep blue sky?

 

When last have you gone to the park,

and in the woods, stopped and sniffed?

The fragrance of the grass, trees, and flowers,

where so many of God’s creatures live?

 

Have you ever gone to the beautiful beach

Way before anyone else got there?

And enjoyed watching the seagulls feeding

and smelled the saltwater in the air?

 

Or have you ever seen the huge sun at dusk

while sitting quiet and peaceful at that beach?

When the blazing setting sun seemed to be

so close, like within a long stick’s reach?

 

Did you ever walk outside into the dark night

minutes before you go to sleep?

And marveled at the moon and stars,

as into your being, true tranquility seep?

 

These questions I bring to you today

That hopefully they will help you find.

A glimmer of happiness if you have none,

or a little deep harmony of some kind.

 

As we get closer to God or Nature,

We will slowly, but surely realize

That by pausing to enjoy these moments

Some peace of mind will slowly arise.

 

Go to the Top

Shafts Of Light (Nature)

 

Sitting upon the beach in the early dawn,

with my peaceful surroundings, I became one.

From out of nowhere came the urge

to try and make me and nature merge.

 

I try to be very quiet, sit with bated breath,

and hold very, very still …. as still as death.

I listen carefully, ever so slightly I can hear,

like whispered words, floating about in the air.

 

I stay motionless, make like a stone,

I can even hear the earth grumble and moan.

I take in the sweet, rugged music of the waves,

its very low roaring, like an echo in a cave.

 

From far away, out over the horizon

came the first glorious rays of the sun.

The bright edge of the blazing, fiery disk,

cut right through the low hanging morning mist.

 

This awesome and wondrous sight made me smile,

As I enjoyed this dawn magic for little awhile.

The clouds that were moments ago so puffy white,

being parted by beaming shafts of yellow light.

 

Shades of orange yellow, crimson and red,

Tranquility now slowly seeps into my head.

Then into the waves fell one bright beam,

shattered into a million pieces …or so it seem.

 

Like bits of diamond mixed into the froth,

into the churning waves that the ocean wrought.

All of a sudden, the air filled with sweet sound,

of all God’s creatures waking up all around.

 

The birds from the trees all took to the air,

with such a whoosh, so sweet to my ear.

Even the gulls started doing their splendid dance,

swooping this way then that, like in a trance.

 

Little creatures all around me stirring,

all ready to welcome in the new morning.

I feel so insignificant, I feel so small,

I am in awe, in wonderment of it all.

 

I could not help but slowly smile as I think,

I would not miss this to sleep another wink.

Everyone else at home, asleep in their beds,

all their tensions still tight inside their heads.

 

When nature’s therapy is here, free for all,

But many pretend ignorance, don’t heed the call.

Whatever today prompted me to do this?

I am thankful to be here and experience this bliss.

 

Never may figure out the reason for my birth.

But I am grateful to be put here on Planet Earth.

Thank You Dear God

Go to the Top

My Purpose …. Please

(My Purpose Please …. so many discussions, arguments, debates, thoughts, notions and teachings about exactly what, is our Purpose! This poem poses many of the different questions regarding our purpose while going through the different stages of life, through the eyes of an observer – ‘A Student of Life’ – As we all are) Go to the Top

My Purpose …. Please

(My Purpose Please …. so many discussions, arguments, debates, thoughts, notions and teachings about exactly what, is our Purpose! This poem poses many of the different questions regarding our purpose while going through the different stages of life, through the eyes of an observer – ‘A Student of Life’ – As we all are) Go to the Top

My Purpose …. Please

(My Purpose Please …. so many discussions, arguments, debates, thoughts, notions and teachings about exactly what, is our Purpose! This poem poses many of the different questions regarding our purpose while going through the different stages of life, through the eyes of an observer – ‘A Student of Life’ – As we all are) Go to the Top

The Beast In Me

Reflections of that which exists within that seems to take control at times and make us do self-destructive things onto others – Written in 1998.

*

In the deep recesses of my being,

There is a monstrous beast in me.

Hidden and disguised so very well,

Hard for anyone else outside to see

Locked up and tucked away,

In one of my mind’s many cages

He cannot control my body,

Even in his constant manic rages.

He constantly begs for my attention,

He pleads “let me out please”.

Even though he is my life’s companion,

Him, I will do nothing to appease.

I will tell you of my terrible beast,

And the things he is capable of.

He is so much like my own twin,

But he is incapable of showing love.

He is the selfish bigot in me.

He is the one who constantly lusts.

He is the braggart and the showoff.

He cares not about righteous or just.

He is selfish and he is downright mean,

And he listens when the devil beckons.

This is why I am on guard against him

Every day and every single second

You see, he is the one who gets angry,

So furious sometimes, he can kill.

I cannot give him any bit of control,

Or he will cause great havoc at his will.

He makes me scream, yell and curse,

He gets violent, rant and rave.

If I listen to him, I don’t belong here,

I should be living in a far away cave.

Constant thinking, he always does,

For he never ever goes to sleep

Make me do mean things to those I love,

The things that make them hurt and weep.

This is why he is always locked up,

And bound with chains oh-so-strong

So he never ever escapes or breaks out,

To take control and do his wrongs

Even though I keep him securely under wraps,

I’ve tried… but never could silence him.

I will stay in the saddle and keep the reins tight,

So he can never satisfy his whim.

So, I have a terrible beast in me,

But his things, he never ever gets to do.

Don’t you even think of mocking me

For you have your beast in you too.

From ‘The Heart of The Sun’ – Written by Jag B Mahadeo

Go to the Top

Our Oneness with Nature, Universe & God

I stepped into my backyard heaven, touching vibrant green

Feeling energized by some force, which remained unseen.

And like finally discovering, exactly where I belong

I felt my very soul break out, in a wonderful song

 

Barefoot on the lush grass carpet …. in the shadow-shade

Feeling the awesome sensations of each feather-soft blade

Mother Earth’s energy flows quietly up through my being

This Heaven-On-Earth through fresh eyes I’m now seeing

 

The warm, welcoming light of the brilliant morning sun

Caressed my skin and brought to mind a sense of joy and fun

My friends, the birds fed and talked in songs and beeps

While a squirrel from one bushy branch to another leaps!

 

That feeling of oneness through me …. now freely flowed

The seed of peace has sprouted, that in the past was sowed

And God gently whispered …. to me this message was conveyed

‘My Child, You and the Universe with the same elements were made’!

 

We are all ONE with the Universe!

Jag B Mahadeo

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The Defiance Within

In defiance, the resolve strengthens inside of me

That our warriors within stay alive and bold

For as long as there is this kind of Evil on Earth

Prepare to defend our values, and fight to uphold!

 

But every so often there is an internal struggle

To continue to keep the faith in humanity

When we face the evil, cruel and the inept

See others suffer and witness the insanity!

 

Then some questions the very existence of God

And wonder why it is, and to whom we pray?

Some try to explain Karma and how it all works

But to their loved ones, what can we really say?

 

When the word ‘Love’ is thrown cheaply around

And resonates loudly in its own, sad, emptiness

And the sickness of mind seem to deeply permeate

Leading to acts …. cruel and absolutely senseless!

 

The ‘home’ is torn apart by selfishness and greed

And children are taught to use guns and blades

The sense of meaningful values is badly diluted

Where basic goodness, love and morality fades

 

Then innocent children are abused and love-starved

Churches and schools are no longer held sacred

And our little angels are like wild animals, hunted

Riddled with bullets, or hacked and left for dead.

 

We pray to infuse us all with goodness once again

Dear God, teach us to Love, to Tolerate and to Care

But also bless us with the intelligence and the strength

So we fight these kinds of evils, and not cower in fear.

 

Help us save our Precious Children Dear God.

Jag B Mahadeo

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Beauty – The Physical and The Divine

Synopsis of ‘Beauty – The Physical and The Divine’

At every point in our lives here on Earth, on this part of our journey through the universe, we will be seeing and experiencing beauty through our eyes, and making so many decisions based on our interpretation of the word itself. We will associate with others, fall in love, make friends, and all our attraction to others will be based on this interpretation of beauty. We will live through some mini-lifetimes seeing beauty as rigidly unchanged and a few will do this until death.

However, for most, as our journey in this life continues, what we see as beauty will continue to evolve at every stage of our lives. At some point, hopefully sooner than later, we will begin to interpret beauty at a deeper, more spiritual level. This interpretation of beauty will expose us the true ‘divine’ beauty which is inherent within all of God’s creation and we will begin to see beauty in everything and in everyone. We will see perfection even in imperfection and we will begin to experience true Universal Love or Godly Love.

This is the spiritual awakening which is waiting to take place within each one of us, because we are all God’s children.

The poem ‘Beauty – The Physical and The Divine’ describes this journey of evolution of mind from the days of childhood, being married, becoming a parent, and the evolving perspective.

*

Beauty – The Physical and The Divine

Then I stared into the face of Physical Beauty

My pulse quickened and my heart raced

Playful thoughts became a muddled blur

And even time seemed to move fast-paced!

And as eyes caught and smiles were exchanged

Intense desires flowed and overcame me

Somehow, nothing else at that moment, mattered

Single point focus – only that One I could see!

Two then became one, and with a magical touch

Lives were intertwined and emotions flowed

Time and wealth shared and seeds sprouted

Mountains were climbed and rivers were rowed!

But the seeker within seeketh and did not stop

Longing for something deeper – a hidden jewel

Somehow I felt empty …. Something was missing

Like a part of my very soul or my mind-fuel!

……………………..

And now, I gaze into the face of Divine Beauty

But my breath calmed and my mind stilled

My thoughts separated and all became clear

As I controlled my prayers and thoughts – strong willed

The book of knowledge was eventually opened

And from it, lessons learned and answers read

And then my viewing glasses were mightily changed

As understanding and revelations happened in my head

The joy in my heart almost like music, now flowed

Tender thoughts of Universal Love, sweet and kind

Realization came as that oneness with a loving God

And with this all, came my own Peace of Mind.

Jag B Mahadeo

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Contradicting Thoughts and Musings

The piece below was written by Rob McGovern and me. At that time we were co-workers at Alro Tool & Machine, in Lindenhurst, Long Island. Each day each of us added a verse to what eventually became ‘Contradicting thoughts and Musings’ and led to each of us understanding ourselves and each other better.

*

Let’s gather around the carcass of the old deflated beast,

we have seen it through the accolades and rested in it’s lea.

We welcomed the audible gasp of his profound and final breath,

for thousands of new beginnings will spring forth from the throes of his death.

And so, we’ve nestled in it’s hollow and suckled at it’s breast,

Grandiloquent in attitude, impassioned, yet inept.

It’s awesome power dissipated as in a jubilant feast.

Now what calamity will transcend the place of this fallen celestial beast.

Frivolous gavel our design, ludicrous our threat,

Excursive expeditions leave us holding less and less.

But strange; the extreme spectrum that emanate from that one seed,

which all started from it and the power that it wield.

It sings “Leave your cares behind you. Just grab tenaciously”.

This lulling sense or purpose will destroy us rapidly.

And peer not through the windshield on your grand tour, with clouded, bloodshot eyes,

lest you not see the blinding flash that may signify your demise.

Still, he took a time bomb and a case of crackers and he made a maelstrom of organic debris.

Then he took a workbench and a rusty anvil and polished them for everyone to see.

Grim was this task, but gleefully he relished parting flesh from pelt.

Reveled in the horrid pain and suffering that the wretched masses felt.

You have created an unsocial monster and you’re searched for all over the globe,

most believe that things would sure be better if you’d come down here and tell us what you know.

Your search for answers in the wrong places may make this life seem bleak,

for deep within the shadows of your being may be he whom you seek.

Mutations, aberrations, and blatant anomalies,

they multiply and this monstrosity rear.

Here, look upon the smiling sun, revel in nature’s beauty,

God-given air, and live in wonderment of it all ….not in fear!

To have arrived on this earth as a product of a biological accident,

only to depart through human arrogance, would be the ultimate irony.

But to have arrived on this earth as a seed from the far reaching cosmic tree,

and live through this mortal life and only through death, be set free.

“For man in his normal state, is the work of God, but now as we see him.

He may be said, properly enough, to be the work of man.”

(Lord Monboddo: 1773)

Each individual, in this act of life is given his own role.

But, are we all not just extensions of that one Eternal Soul?

Rob McGovern & Jag B Mahadeo

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Musings of the Heart

 (Musings on life & love in poetry)

Does real, true love ever die?

With real true love, can you really let go?

Can there be love at first sight?

To these, the lover in me says “no”.

 

Can real, true love fade over time?

Over great distance, does it even waver?

Can it exist on it’s own….in a shell?

The lover in me says “never”.

 

Can real, true love be bought?

If so, how does one get paid?

Can true love ever be parted?

I say “not even by the keenest blade”.

 

Can real, true love ever be stopped,

at the instant of one’s final breath?

Does love then come to an end?

I say “not even at the time of death”.

 

How about falling ‘out-of-love’?

Can this absurdity possibly be?

Can you love and not be IN love?

This lover say “not according to me”.

 

How can real, true love die….or end?

If it does, was it true or real?

Not in my world! Not for me!

“Not the kind of love this lover feel.”

 

By Jag B Mahadeo

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The Beauty of my own Individuality

This poem was written to wrap up a session of training on ‘Individuality’ to address the ease in which children forsake their own individuality and assume the fake identity of someone else.

*

From a deep sleep, I awoke with a start

My mind’s eye opened and I began to see

That God’s blessings and his loving grace

Granted the beauty …. my own individuality

Among billions of other fellow human souls

Over six billion on earth to be exact

Not another like me among them all

I smiled to myself, proud of this fact

That I’m perfect in all my imperfections

And unique in my own way …. In my own right

Granted with God’s unlimited potential

Vision limited only by my self-obscured sight

My potential hampered by my own obstacles

The only speed-bump in the way, my own ego

The unending search for my own happiness

On compromising my own values, to just say no

To build and improve but not to embellish

To be my unique self, in all of my self-glory

To be proud, as one of God’s many children

To everyday live, and write my own self-story

Not to give up my own sweet individuality

Not to sacrifice my own special blessedness

Not to copy someone else’s whole character

Not to be a counterfeit, not me, not this!

The perfect-ness in His creation I realize,

My dreams I will dream, my goals I will set

Dear God this I pray, I promise that I’ll keep

My gift of unique-ness and my goals will be met.

By Jag B Mahadeo 2011

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A Wish for Change – Happy New Year

Dear Children Of God in whose hearts He Closely Dwells

And breathe Life to all organs and into all living cells

Let’s commit and pledge to live in Love and Peaceful Glory

For this Noble Goal should be the basis of all our life’s story

 

And in a world in which we find so much Gossip and Dislike

Where Cruelty and Hate is wielded as a bloody and painful spike

Make a daily practice full of Sweet Smiles and Tender Kindness

And not walk the Earth Mean-Spirited in Self-Induced Blindness

 

Let us Open our Minds and Hearts and make it Easy to Forgive

So in Peace and Love with our brothers and sisters we all live

And let Tolerance and Patience light and always guide our way

So we can delight in Calm Peace of Mind each and every day

 

For our Duty and Purpose of Life we must all try to fulfill

Or else every effort of this life is worth naught and nil

Then a complete re-do of this classroom will be our eventual fate

Since we keep crafting our own Karmas and own Mind-State

 

Let us reject all acts which cause Misery and causes Pain

For in these there is nothing Human and nothing to gain

Sons and Daughters of God we are gifted Unlimited Potential

But to understand, believe and practice this is so essential!

 

Forget not that we are the Children of He the Benevolent

And there is surely a purpose for which, here we were sent

So breathe not fire but Peace and Speak only Words of Love

Be that Loving Child whom our Father God, would be Proud Of

 

And as we travel on in time into the unknown and the New Year

Promise to build our tomorrows, not with bricks of Ignorance and Fear

But with Light, Love, Peace, Unity and all that is great each day

My Dear Brothers and Sisters A Happy New Year and Namaste

 

Written By Pandit Jag B. Mahadeo – http://theheartofthesun.com

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My Own Obstacles of Mind

I tripped, fell and wondered who put the obstacles there

It was mid-bright and mid-dark and nothing was really clear.

My fear of stepping forward now left me buried in doubt

At Anger Master’s command,”Who did this to me?” I shout!

 

And the echo of my own voice returned empty in dread

Who would dare to harm me? Or may want ME dead?

Pure panic seeped in and now invaded my whole being.

Why? Who observes me now, and what are they seeing?

 

Breathing became hard and my pulse speedily raced

What doom, with what unknown force, am I now faced?

My thoughts turned to all of my hates and dislike,

At which of them can I lash out? Who can I strike?

 

My scared mind showed me images, now ran wild

Some crazy, wacky and funny things and I slowly smiled

Then with a chuckle, my mind somehow retrieved

Fearsome thoughts that was moments before conceived

 

Took control and after a moment of peace, conclude

The twisted conspiracy was by me internally brewed

And the obstacles that were dumped all over in my way

Which I tripped and fell over, almost every single day

 

Was created out of my own two friends, Doubt and Fear

And these two, I banished, now refusing to keep near

Then made friends of Love, and Peace and Inner Light

Now I see no obstacles …. My path is clear in sight.

 

Filled with my prayers within, the new day dawned,

Freed of the turmoil which my own mind had spawned,

My God brought forth from within, Love, Joy and Peace

And made all hate, dislike and jealousy within me cease!

 

Love, Peace & Unity to all!

Written By Jag B. Mahadeo

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The Harsh Word (Speech)

‘The keen blade of the harsh word’

  (Written in 2002)

As I lay back in bed and tried to go to sleep

Voices spoke, and in my head the message seeped

Voices of reason and a message so intent

It could be no other reason, but God sent

That we speak with a voice …. A Godly instrument

Through power and strength that our God has lent

And we use like a sword our voices with power

Instead of gentle words as tender as a flower

The kind word comes dressed in a soft tone.

The harsh word can lead to an existence all alone.

The kind voice comes with a sound so sweet.

The harsh voice sends others to a hasty retreat.

The kind word makes one seem so very humble.

With harsh words, be ready for a ‘rough and tumble’

Kind words can smoothly get things done

But the harsh word takes away all of the fun.

The kind word wins respect and softens hearts.

The harsh word creates fear …. then dislike starts

The kind word respects other’s intelligence,

The harsh word insults and breeds defiance.

Kind words lead to love and make life fulfilling

But harsh words makes even your friends, unwilling.

Kind words can make an enemy into a friend,

While harsh words bring friendships to an end.

The kind word makes for a life worth living.

The harsh word makes life quite unforgiving.

The kind word will, even the Devil, win.

The harsh word however, has just got to be a sin.

The kind word can make up for many a mistake,

The harsh word only leave gloominess in it’s wake.

The kind word will evoke most times, a smile.

The harsh word will create frowns that lasts a while.

So, Sisters and Brothers, use a voice loving and soft

A voice which makes you proud with head aloft.

Use a soft voice and kind words whenever you can,

For it is the distinct mark of a saint-like human.

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The Funeral Pyre 2001 (Cremation)

The funeral pyre of my father Pt. Budhram Mahadeo, through that eyes of a bird.

*

Circling in the blue-sky way up high,

I noticed this great commotion down below.

Hundreds of people filed slowly along.

What’s going on there? This I have got to know.

So I flew swiftly lower down

Where I can see whatever will transpire.

There I saw this great stack of wood

Tall and set up as a funeral pyre.

Waves of people walked to this open space

And they slowly gathered around,

They started a chant to the heavens.

Of such a hauntingly beautiful sound.

Then the sad chanting stopped

And quietness permeated the air.

A quiet of a deeply solemn mood

Broken by a cry here and there.

A body from a wooden platform

Was gently placed on top the pyre.

I can finally see the ultimate plan!

That unmoving body they will set afire?

The throng finally settled down.

Many were dressed in all white.

And they were crying out so loud,

That I wondered at their pitiful plight.

Circling a while up here on tired wings,

I should find a place to stop and sit.

That tree by the pavilion looks quite fine.

From up there I will observe every bit.

From my perch now, I surveyed the scene,

As one bearded young man took the lead.

They started the chanting and singing again,

While on the pyre they spread herbs and seeds.

A small fire was lit off one side

Then it shared to the other three.

It was so crowded around there.

It was getting difficult for me to see.

So I took off to the air again

And flew over this crowded space.

I see through the top layer of wood

The figure laid out in its final resting place.

The chanting grew louder in pitch

Into the fire handfuls of herbs were thrown.

The chanting and singing grew louder

Drowned here and there by cries and moans.

A lady dressed in white was singing very loud

And around her a crying group gathered close.

It was from within this close-knit group

That the loudest chants and cries arose.

And as the wood pyre began to burn

And the licking flames quickly spread

The entire crowd joined in a loud song

And it seems that the final prayers were read.

I flew back to the top of my perch tree.

The flames grew high and then silence fell.

What was on that close-knit group’s mind?

I think that only God could tell.

The minutes turned to hours and many left.

The group in white retreated under a small tree.

As many people remained in the pavilion

Just stayed there and just let them be.

There was much quiet and silence

But for a few muffled sobs here and there.

The angry flames sky-reaching and roaring high

And thick wind-swept smoke filled the air.

They sat around for hours …. all cried out,

Then slowly, tiredly, packed up to go.

Now the fire was mostly glowing embers,

Burnt all the way down and quite low.

They all got into a small van which drove away.

And left the crackling embers still glowing red.

I think tonight I will roost right here.

In this tree tonight, I will make my bed.

The next morning was so beautiful.

The brilliant sun rose bright and sharp.

The little group came back at eleven

Bringing buckets and a big blue tarp.

This they hung and covered the spot

Where yesterday, the funeral pyre was.

Much activity went on underneath.

All in this little group was abuzz.

They were searching, sifting and washing,

Talking sweeping and scratching.

And on one side, on a big cement block,

They took turns pounding and smashing.

The tarp finally came down …. I was amazed.

The entire site was washed and picked clean.

Seems all the ashes were packed in buckets.

For on the pyre site, none could be seen.

The somber group packed up into the blue van

And once again they all drove away.

What strange human things I’ve seen

On these past few long days.

Then through the whisperings of my fellow souls

I finally learned the truth at last

It was the funeral and the last rites of

 The Great Pandit Budhram Mahadeo who had passed.

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My Self-Analysis (Self)

 

I turned around and I looked at him

And did not really like what I saw.

He was physically strong and robust,

But his personality had many a flaw.

 

His voice overflowed with confidence,

Bordering so close to bitter arrogance.

He spoke loudly, boldly, with no restraint

…showing no humility, not even once.

 

He does know how to be humble,

Of this I was really, quite sure.

But he never tries to practice it,

Almost like he remembers no more.

 

He strode, head high and filled disdain.

With a demeanor that bubbled with ego.

The right mix of simple humility and pride,

This divine secret, he did not want to know.

 

He never tried to cultivate any patience

He allowed himself to be aggressive.

Though he was perfectly aware that

This was a very unhealthy way to live.

 

He allowed himself to fall easy prey

To constant and overwhelming lust.

Although he is certainly surrounded by

Loved ones he knew he could totally trust.

 

Most-times his anger is under good control

And tucked away inside its sordid cave.

But sometimes it cunningly escapes him

…. and then, he becomes his anger’s slave.

 

All these enemies are his paralyzing faults,

I will tell him…I am a close friend of his.

For I …. Am his own inner conscience,

Performing his own Self-Analysis.

 

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Feelings of Togetherness! (Family)

How do others see us?

Our presence should not cause controversy to arise!

Promote feelings of Peace and Unity and not cries!

All others should feel comfortable in my presence

And build harmony and bridges …. Not a guarded fence

May my voice not bring anxiety, belittlement or fear!

But instead, render deep feelings of calm and clear!

Our approach should not make others cower in discomfort and dread!

But it should make them respond with wide-open arms of welcome!

The aura we emit should not be one of despondency and dread!

But cast a cheery pleasure in the hearts and minds of others!

The sound of our footsteps should not bring dread to mind,

But comfort in the feeling of company, togetherness and unity.

Go to the Top

A Resolve for Change (Wishes)

 

Dear Children Of God in whose hearts He Closely Dwells

And breathe Life to all organs and into all living cells

Let’s commit and pledge to live in Love and Peaceful Glory

For this Noble Goal should be the basis of all our life’s story

 

And in a world in which we find so much Gossip and Dislike

Where Cruelty and Hate is wielded as a bloody and painful spike

Make a daily practice full of Sweet Smiles and Tender Kindness

And not walk the Earth Mean-Spirited in Self-Induced Blindness

 

Let us Open our Minds and Hearts and make it Easy to Forgive

So in Peace and Love with our brothers and sisters we all live

And let Tolerance and Patience light and always guide our way

So we can delight in Calm Peace of Mind each and every day

 

For our Duty and Purpose of Life we must all try to fulfill

Or else every effort of this life is worth naught and nil

Then a complete re-do of this classroom will be our eventual fate

Since we keep crafting our own Karmas and own Mind-State

 

Let us reject all acts which cause Misery and causes Pain

For in these there is nothing Human and nothing to gain

Sons and Daughters of God we are gifted Unlimited Potential

But to understand, believe and practice this is so essential!

 

Forget not that we are the Children of He the Benevolent

And there is surely a purpose for which, here we were sent

So breathe not fire but Peace and Speak only Words of Love

Be that Loving Child whom our Father God, would be Proud Of

 

And as we travel on in time into the unknown and the New Year

Promise to build our tomorrows not with bricks of Ignorance and Fear

But with Light, Love, Peace, Unity and all that is great each day

My Dear Brothers and Sisters A Happy New Year and Namaste

 

Go to the Top

Our God Within (Oneness)

 

That perfect-ness within us

Yearning to be awakened!

That calm, peaceful mind-state

Waiting to be discovered

 

That sheltered Universal Love within

Waiting to open its blossoms

That being within which has oneness

With Nature and the Universe

 

That eternal one within, who is patient, kind

Wholesome, ever wakeful and knowledgeable.

That Moment in time when the Ego quiets

And disappears into blissful obscurity!

 

That! …. is Our God within us.

Find that God that dwells within

For he waits to be awakened by YOU!

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A Crazy Dream (Life)

Shapeless forms dancing around.

Two conjoined thoughts went floating by.

A few of my emotions got together,

and in happiness they all cried.

 

My dog was running around

but he had the face of a pig.

I scratched my head and found

that I was wearing a wig.

 

My father was there

but he was just a little boy.

My son threw him around

like he was his poke’mon toy.

 

My wife was making weird sounds

dressed only all in red….really nice.

My daughter was making Barbie breakfast

with sparkles and sprinkles on top of rice.

 

Fishes were flying around the

dozens of baited hooks

taunting the birds holding fishing rods

and giving them dirty looks.

 

A man-carriage went by

with a horse driving it.

A team of men pulled it

angrily chomping at the bit.

 

I shook in silent laughter

at what transpired around me.

Telling jokes to each other

were two huge birds in a tiny tree.

 

Then one beam of sunlight found me

and landed on my head.

The burning feeling woke me up

into the world to which I was dead.

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A Letter to God (Death)

On the passing of my father Pandit Budhram Mahadeo.

*

Dear God,

Keeper of the flames of the hearts,

Father and guardian of all souls and all things,

It’s been a few years now but

not enough time to dissipate the heartache

that parting brings.

So at this time Dear God,

I’d like to pray, I’d like to ask,

that Papa’s soul wherever he is be at peace,

and our sorrows be relieved and not just masked.

I’d like to pray that all his lessons

and all his teachings not go to waste.

That they continue to make a difference

in our lives…. however fast-paced.

That as of now, not another tear be shed,

and that the memories, all be pleasant ones,

that bring smiles to faces and songs to hearts,

and bad ones forgotten except for the lessons learnt.

Dear God, if in the mysteries of this world

there was a way that us, Papa could see.

Let him see Mama, his Children and Grandchildren,

living with pride, dignity and in harmony.

Let him know that the kind of love he envisioned

is alive and well and not at all lost.

and the examples he made and standards he set,

will be upheld by us at all costs.

Dear God, this today I ask of you,

that any sorrow in our hearts let go and be set free,

and in it’s place, expand our visions of love,

that make you God, easier for us to see.

But God, let the subtle links between our souls

that exists here and beyond, be never torn.

So that in another life we may once again realize

a journey together, maybe with other garments worn.

So today Dear God, it is from the heart that I ask,

that wherever that soul, may at this time be,

shower him with peace and show him the way,

…. and please give him this message,

that he is always My Papa and My Hero to me.

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Reflection On My Ego (Ego)

I stare intently into the mirror.

I see an ego so big and so bold.

Ruling my every move, my every word,

and controlling me in it’s stranglehold.

 

I see the look of ‘I don’t give a damned’

and the intense, cold hard stare,

and in the eyes, the steely glint of defiance,

which proclaim to the world ‘go ahead if you dare’.

 

I see grim lines in my face carved by my master ego

and pronounced veins for rushing, heated blood,

that when provoked or resisted in any way

would give way to an angry flash flood.

 

I see the arrogant look of command

that I force on all those around me.

My use of words and my power

instill in them such fear that all could see.

 

I do not use kind words or a soft tone,

Those are for use only by the weak.

I do not use requests, I demand,

and I do get all the results that I seek.

 

I see one with no need to respect,

and no need to use nice-ness or be tactful.

No need to show respect or show kindness,

I take command by the horns of the bull.

 

But wait, what is this that I see wrong,

In my reflection I see he whom I despise,

He brings back into focus one who I dislike.

I now see the person whom I always criticize.

 

Why are my words so cold and harsh?

Why can’t I be considerate and kind?

How can I let myself be so unfeeling,

that is so becoming of one with an unruly mind?

 

Why do I make myself seem so controlling,

and don’t care if others …. my words hurt?

My constant belittling of others feels good to me,

but just make others feel almost worthless …. like dirt.

 

How can I neglect earning their respect,

and instead, gloat in their noticeable fears?

And how can I not care about their hurt,

and weather or not my words trigger tears.

 

When will I learn to win respect and hearts

and learn to love and tolerate?

And show compassion and humility,

that breeds kindness instead of hate?

 

As I look into the mirror I slowly realized

that I was under control of my inflated ego,

and whenever I tried to do something simple and right,

my ego responded with a suspicious No.

So I sat down and I thought

 

and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

that I should be in control, not my Ego

This Ego, with my intelligence, now I will fix.

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Free My Mind (Oneness)

Free my mind from

the numerous tethers of mighty stones.

Help me hold my head up

above the raging, crashing waves.

Let me force a smile

upon my dry, trembling lips,

and look way past

my sad, cloudy, dreary days.

Help me see beyond just

the beauty of the sparkling sun,

and leave my terrible nightmares

in the bed in which they lay.

Share the smile that I forced upon my lips

and check my mammoth ego at the gate.

Let me cast my distinct shadow

even in the dark.

Leave my deep lasting tracks

in the clay of the earth.

Help me rise far above the rigors

that misery spawns

and not whet my insatiable appetite

toward a futile, speedy end.

  Go to the Top

I’m just a dream (Life)

I am, but a dream,

trapped in someone else’s head.

As he lay quietly sleeping

upon his peaceful bed.

 

Now, supposing this is all true;

his dream……my life is one.

My universe as I know it

in his dream had begun.

 

My world floats in him,

just random thoughts.

My peaceful moments,

and all the confusion I wrought.

 

It’s so hard to believe

It seem so real,

My life…my thoughts

all of it I can feel.

 

My breath, my very heartbeat,

the core of my being.

Everything I hold dear,

….the emotions I’m feeling

 

All of this…my life,

with the intricate planning,

if he wakes up could end

with little or no warning.

Go to the Top

Meeting The Swan (Nature)

 

After rollerblading one early Sunday morning

I drove to the beach to sit.

Thought I would cool down, relish the calm,

reflect on my life and gather my wits.

 

There was nary a breeze, not a single wave,

even the ocean was sleeping, snoring in swells.

If this was not heaven,

it surely was the farthest place from hell.

 

I sat tranquil for a few moments

the rising sun, an awesome sight to see.

When I glimpsed, riding the ocean swells,

a white Swan swimming slowly towards me.

 

I held myself still with bated breath.

Thought I would just let her be.

She stretched her neck and spread her wings

in all her glory for me to see.

 

On me her unwavering gaze held

as her large webbed feet hit the sand.

I admired her pompous poise

….and her ungainly waddle on land.

 

She came and sat in the sand,

from me only about three feet.

I looked at her and with my eyes

I said ‘it is so good to meet’.

 

It seemed she understood my

unspoken language of the eyes

for she looked at me and her eyes said,

‘yes my friend meeting you is very nice’.

 

She sat on the beach, shuffled her feet

and threw sand on me like in play.

I felt we were like old friends

who just ran into each other that day.

 

She rolled her eyes, flapped her wings and

sprayed water that tasted of salt.

I laughed silently and looked at her.

She was splendid, I could find no fault.

 

We conversed together, silently as

that moment in time we shared.

each studying the other

as into each other’s eyes we stared.

 

She was such a graceful creature,

to whom I now felt strangely close.

Deep within me something stirred.

From me, love and admiration arose.

 

I wanted to break the silence.

I felt so compelled to speak.

But she softly spoke to me first,

friendly hisses coming from her beak.

 

I responded as gently as I could.

All I could say was ‘hello Swan’.

I felt sad when I realized that

in a few minutes she’ll be gone.

 

She got up and circled around me

trying to get a better view.

All the while her eyes stayed on me

like there was something only she knew.

 

She looked out at the ocean and

I knew it was time for her to go.

She stretched and spread her wings

and moved her head high and low.

 

I watched her walk to the water

and she slowly paddled away.

That felt like ten minutes of bliss.

I learnt a lot from Swan that day.

 

We shared the water and the land on Earth.

And of the same stuff we are both made.

We can live together peacefully with nature.

No need for weapons like a gun or blade.

 

I learnt there is a common silent language

among all the creatures of the land.

The Swan said that she wished this language

Humans would take the time to understand.

 

Go to the Top

Out! Out! Out I say (Control)

 

Peering through the layers of fog

into the mirror of my mind.

The little storm has become a raging tempest.

Violent, destructive and quite unkind.

 

Emotions stirred and tossed and turned.

Unseen tears….turbulent rivers.

Outward calmness only betrayed

by shaky voice from lips that quivered.

 

But…………

 

I shall not be driftwood

at the mercy of every passing ripple.

I shall not be a cotton-ball cloud

at the whim of ever-changing winds.

I shall not be the broken-hearted lover.

Loving genuine love….but still unloved.

And I shall not be the dancing puppet

at the end of a set of strings.

 

No! It shall not be!

So now I say this;

 

Out! Out! Out I say!

You are not welcomed in my mind today.

I cannot have you, so get out of my mind.

You are no good for me….and not too kind.

 

You are just an addiction to which I was bound.

Now I resist, but still see your shadows around.

Please take all my thoughts of you when you go,

and make it a bit easier for me to say no.

 

With my time I shall do better things,

and not suffer the pains your presence brings.

I shall shed no more tears for your sake.

This mistake again, I shall not make.

 

Step through my mind’s door and I shall push you out.

You and your troubles, I can do without.

I shall close the door and not open at your knock.

To you my heart and will….shall be a rock.

 

So, you keep your damned bottle and your pill.

As of today, me you shall not kill.

So! Out! Out! Out I say!

You are not welcomed in my mind today.

 

Go to the Top

Mid-Flight (Oneness)

When stuck at the eternal crossroads

And no sign of which way to go,

And when any queries for help….from without,

Seems answered with a profound ‘NO’!

 

When Beauty and Purity is under siege,

….broken promises, and hearts of stone reign,

With waves of chaotic heart-wrenching crying

When pure, honest, loving minds cannot stay sane.

 

When the flower garland that adorns the neck

Has been torn and ripped to shreds.

And it appears the soul has deserted

And left the body for dead!

 

When the pure-white, love-angel

Has brushed lips with the devil’s own,

And the place of red roses where doves flew

Now only thorns grow …. And deadly snakes roam.

 

If somehow crushed and left for dead,

Like the remains of rose petals underfoot.

And the curtains of the eyes have been drawn shut

And life’s whole purpose seems misunderstood.

 

When it feels like the devil’s claws

Are deeply embedded in the flesh!

And the misfortunes befallen me is worthy,

….for my past Karmas, I haven’t been blessed.

 

Let my dark cloud that hovers overhead

Be pierced by one sword-blade of pure light,

Thus freeing my soul from the netherworld

In which I’ve been trapped in mid-flight.

Go to the Top

Be Still Dear Heart (Separation)

 

I cannot control it. It’s over. It’s done.

Fretting and agonizing will help none.

Now stop and help me gather my wits.

And put back together my shattered bits.

 

Calm down, my tender, fragile, fluttering friend.

Feel the new beginning and forget the past end.

Beat back the tide of yesterday’s surging wave.

And savor the ensuing stillness….for you will be safe.

 

Contemplate and endure the aftermath,

and you’ll be spared the Devil’s own wrath.

Stand tall, be humble, but do not beg.

Face your adversities …. even on a bad leg.

 

Dwell not on that, which might have been,

and be spared all that, better left unseen.

Close your mind’s door to the insidious ways.

Open your windows to hopefully brighter days.

 

Numb yourself to the agony of warped hell.

And keep the raging raucous outside thy shell

through the constant pounding you’ll feel no pain,

so brave lion pull yourself up, by your generous mane.

 

And show your formidable strength….be not timid!

Of these weak emotions, you’ll soon be rid.

Because, of something powerful, this is a start,

So behave, be peaceful and be still Dear Heart.

 

Go to the Top

This Cruel Life (Cancer)

 

I have never been one of much wealth.

I’ve tried hard to take care of my health.

Lived my life mostly by the book!

Stayed within the limits….whatever it took!

 

To some of my problems I had an answer,

Then my doctor told me I had breast cancer.

I had always waited for my luck to run hot.

Now I feel….like I’ve just been shot.

 

Oh, how cruel this life can be!

Why is this happening to me?

My share of mistakes….I have done.

Fears of facing them….I had none.

 

But this all crept up on me with stealth.

How can I play this hand that I’ve been dealt?

Now I know not what to do.

Am I dreaming? Or is this all true?

 

How much more of this, can I take,

Before my strong spirit it does bend and break?

I have always been one of confident strength,

And bold personality….wherever I went!

 

Always held my head up with pride.

Nothing I ever felt I needed to hide.

Now I undergo bouts of radiation and chemo

My stomach is sick and my energy level low

 

All the pain and frequent trips to the doctor

But I hide it all so well as any good actor

My skin is changing colors and I’m really pale

My joints and bones ache so and my eyes fail

 

My beautiful long hair is falling out in clumps

And on my once smooth skin, now little weird bumps

But I will not give up, not without a fight!

Use all my willpower and all my might!

 

Useless tears of frailty I shall not shed!

I shall not give up and just lay in my bed!

Signs of weakness I will resist and not show,

It is something that I have never known.

 

Now, what can I do? What can I say?

Except to hold my head up high and pray.

 

Go to the Top

Against My Better Judgment (Choices)

 

I did not listen to my own intuition,

Now I’m trapped in the world of cravings.

I never acted as my conscience told,

Now I wallow in the pain my obsessions bring.

 

I let my guard down only once

Awoke feeling trapped in quicksand.

Could not move, could not think

Then again turn to my addiction for a hand.

 

I lay down on my bed….half asleep,

gnash my teeth, toss and turn

And deep, deep within my being

The desire for more…burn and burn.

 

I wake up suddenly in a cold-sweat

With my heart pounding and racing.

Sanity, I tried and cannot keep

With my mind’s frantic pacing.

 

I cannot eat …. my appetite’s shot.

God! What I would do for a hit.

From my own mother I would steal.

My own lover’s throat I would slit.

 

My body tremble, my hands shake.

I feel so totally out of control.

For some relief, even to the Devil

I would certainly sell my very soul.

 

I tried to pass the blame to my friends.

Denied my pain was of my own making.

All the while slipping deeper and deeper,

Refusing any help, free for the taking.

 

Of my innocence, I’ve convinced myself.

And justified everything which I’ve done.

Enduring endless hours of insanity,

For just a few painful hours of fun.

 

Over this precipice I should not have gone

I should not have taken that very first step.

I should have listened to my own intuition.

Then my devil and his demons, I would not have met.

 

Go to the Top

Confusion’s End (Choices)

 

Please tell me why I cannot think,

why I cannot sleep another wink.

All my thoughts, all of them muddled,

with all of this, I grow increasingly puzzled.

 

I cannot figure out any of it,

Nothing I can think of helps, not one bit.

I try to sort them out one by one,

but in a flash, even the effort is gone,

 

Into the raging tempest of my mind

Please, I’ll try anything to unwind.

I tried to drown these thoughts with drink,

But the little devils swim better than I think.

 

I drift in and out of tortuous, fitful sleep

Only to wake up so many times and weep,

 For now the fighting so deep inside

has opened my painful wounds, oh so wide.

 

I can’t fully express this way I feel

My mind’s in a daze and does not seem real

My broken thoughts I try hard to mend,

I even thought of putting it all to an end.

 

Then one early morning, in a daze,

I rode to the ocean beach, I was amazed.

I stood in the sand for while in contemplation,

And tried to make sense of my situation.

 

I sat on the sand and closed my eyes.

I thought I fell asleep, it felt so nice.

It felt as though all my torture and pains,

were being washed away in heavenly rains.

 

My eyes opened to the dawning light,

As yet, not another single soul in sight.

Ever so slowly, to my sad eyes

came the realized beauty of the sunrise.

 

A deep breath drawn of the fresh morning air

and now everywhere around me, all I can hear,

The magnificence of nature coming alive

sweet sounds to my ears and before my eyes.

 

The waves and the birds loudly calling

As if in their unique way ‘good morning’

Hold on! Wait a minute! I feel okay!

I can now think straight on this new day!

 

A prayer I knew flowed through my head

My life-force returned, I now felt undead

I can now, clear and with much more ease,

sort my mangled thoughts out, piece by piece.

 

Now I feel alive, so much in control,

I was suddenly joyous in my new role.

I feel now like the Master of my mind!

The slave in me, now I will leave behind!

 

I enjoy this precious moment and realize,

maybe Nature and God have made me wise.

Could it be that God and Nature are the same,

in all of His amazing creation except in name?

 

With this eternal question in my head,

I realized slowly that I’d rather be dead.

Than to feel as confused as I have been,

with this revelation that I have now seen.

 

I lifted my head up to the sky and slowly pray,

Thank you Lord, I know not what to say,

 I’m so sorry that I was blind and did not see

All of this peace that you’ve made for me.

 

Now that I have realized and seen all of this

Your creation and shadows of the eternal bliss,

I pray and promise you, I’ll try my best

I’ll walk that line and I’ll pass your test.

 

Go to the Top

A Tribute Mama (My Mother)

 

I remember myself as a little boy,

making a small match-box toy.

So mischief and sometimes very rude,

But at meal-time My Mama would say,

“come on my son, eat your food.”

 

I remember the day my first dog died

and how I sat down and cried and cried.

Then I took him out back….by the drain,

and buried him there while it rained.

My Mama cuddled me….her eyes bright.

“Don’t worry Jag, everything will be alright.”

 

The first litter of kittens from our black cat.

Cute little creatures, pudgy and fat.

Tortured them roughly in play,

…..my mother would see.

“Jag, would you please leave them be?”

 

Tease my little brother….make him cry.

It was just fun, I don’t know why.

Knocked him over, standing on a chair,

he fell screaming with blood in tears.

Mama came running out of the house

the anger in her was now aroused.

Attending to my brother’s bleeding head,

“You are such a bad boy!” to me she said.

 

I would steal and create havoc,

scream and fight and run amuck.

When in trouble for my deviltry,

I’d hide with my books in my tamarind tree.

Even so bad, but when it’s time to eat

Mama would say “come down

…..you, no one would beat.”

 

Papa asked my big brother one time

“check the car fluids, make sure all is fine.”

I dropped the car’s hood on his head,

his head bleeding, I thought he was dead.

Mama came out….she was so mad.

“My God, why do you have to be so bad?”

 

A devil I was….our house I set afire

with a pile of papers and an old car tire.

If the fire our neighbor did not see,

Don’t know what would have become of me!

The fire put out, the neighbor thanked,

and well deserved….my bottom was spanked.

 

The new car seats, I cut up with a razorblade

to see why it’s soft and of what it’s made.

The sofa cushions, I would tear

and pull the insides out….made them bare.

My sister’s piggy-bank….I would raid,

and start trouble by pulling on her braids.

 

I was like a big painful blister,

fighting with my little brother and sister.

My sister I would tease and joke

and my little brother, I’d fight and choke.

Over all this Mama would yell.

I remember putting her through all this hell.

Well deserved punishment for things I did,

after a while Dear Mama would forgive.

I did so much to make her sad,

…..but she’d still say

“You’re my Devta…just a little bad.”

 

All of us around the table at night,

doing our homework by

…..kerosene-lamp-light.

I would sneak and read my comic book

whenever Mama was busy and did not look.

Mama would say “Son you’d better study,

so you don’t have to work the rice fields

….and get all muddy.”

 

I was always hobbling with bruises and cuts,

and bumps from falling while

…..doing something nuts.

Recuperating under my Mama’s studious care,

me without an injury….was very rare.

 

Hurt falling off bicycles

…..and nasty dog bites.

Come home from school

…..bloodied from fights.

 

Through all this my Mama would hide

Much of my naughtiness from my Papa’s sight.

There was a time or two when I cut school,

back then I was such a gullible little fool.

 

Things I would do, the games I would play,

Some, no one else knows of….till this day.

Most of the time I was a little terror,

A little kid….couldn’t separate the errors.

 

But overall, I was a very happy child.

Just overly curious, and a bit half-wild.

In hindsight, without Mama’s guiding hand,

Which, to my life, was a glorious magic wand.

 

But I learnt to tell between wrong and right

and as I grew up, I finally  saw the light.

Now, when these memories come to mind,

I see my Mama’s face, loving and kind.

 

Down deep in my heart I now realize,

It is she who has made me wise.

And what I have now grown up to be,

I hope is what she had envisioned of me.

 

Little devil I was, but you taught me love.

You taught me to pray to the great one above.

So many, your lessons, I will never forget,

your patience to reach the standards we set.

 

I will always do to make you proud

The things to set me apart from the crowd.

You are by far, the best Mother on Earth,

I thank God that you were chosen ….. for my birth.

I Love You Ma.

Your Son Jag.

Go to the Top

I am Arya

This I believe is our Aryan Challenge – What we should all strive to become.

*

I am Arya!

By thoughts I am!

By words I am!

By actions I am!

I am Arya!

Not harboring selfish or impious thoughts!

Not mouthing impressive, yet empty words!

Not performing vain, meaningless actions!

I am Arya!

Not motivated by irresistible, unyielding greed!

Not consumed by force of the mighty ego!

Not living a life paralyzed with helpless fear!

I am Arya!

Not meekly and blindly following!

Not practicing deceit and hypocrisy!

Not teaching by untruth and deception!

I am Arya!

Not an inferior slave by association!

Not bound by unworthy, physical friendships!

Not blinded by petty and materialistic things!

I am Arya!

Not subdued and spiritually defeated by insults

Not searching for nourishment by praise!

Not driven to seek esteem and recognition!

I am Arya!

Not burdened by heavy emotional guilt!

Not the helpless slave to crippling anger!

Not doomed to fail by powerful addictions!

I am Arya!

By divine, righteous thoughts I am!

By soft, kind, loving words, I am!

By patient, selfless actions I am!

I am Arya!

Pt. Jag B Mahadeo

Go to the Top

Our Oneness with Nature, Universe & God

I stepped into my backyard heaven, touching vibrant green

Go to the Top

Our Oneness with Nature, Universe & God

I stepped into my backyard heaven, touching vibrant green

Go to the Top

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